**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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