She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
