i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
