Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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