i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
