Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
