Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
