You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
