Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My vagina is officially offended.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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