Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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