And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
