my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Every concussion has its silver lining
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
