How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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