"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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