So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
