i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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