Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize