she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
