ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
