I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
