I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
