He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
