My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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