So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
