Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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