Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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