Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
