A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
