he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
