You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
