someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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