just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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