Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
be right there i have to get my cape
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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