I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
