I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
