drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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