I think I am morally bankrupt
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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