im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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