I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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