Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
PANTIES FOUND
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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