im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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