if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize