I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
