i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
