oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Randomize
