So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize