I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
