why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
