my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
