no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
