I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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