There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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