he shaved USA in his pubs
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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