I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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