i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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