i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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