Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
