Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Sober January is a disaster.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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