Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize