I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
