problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
