no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize