We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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