me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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