im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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