is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
