"it" just moved
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
