Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?

(646): View more from New York

Lmao what?

(917): View more from New York City

It's a yes or no question.

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(847): View more from Illinois

i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"

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(312): View more from Illinois

Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.

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(587): View more from Alberta

I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.

(1-443): View more from Maryland

I love my life

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