i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
