She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
