Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
