I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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