She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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