everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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