We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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