I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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